{"id":1208,"date":"2020-04-09T12:11:38","date_gmt":"2020-04-09T09:11:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/?p=1208"},"modified":"2020-04-09T12:15:58","modified_gmt":"2020-04-09T09:15:58","slug":"kopek-mert-can-aksoy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/?p=1208","title":{"rendered":"K\u00d6PEK (Mert Can Aksoy)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Tek g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc kapay\u0131p iyice yak\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131rm\u0131\u015f olmal\u0131y\u0131m ki bir aral\u0131k sadece ensesini g\u00f6rebildim. Ensesinde \u00f6yle bir k\u0131r\u0131\u015f\u0131k vard\u0131 ki bu buru\u015fuk deri par\u00e7as\u0131 \u00f6yle bir a\u00e7\u0131yla duruyordu ki insan\u0131 oturup d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeye sevk eden bir a\u00e7\u0131yd\u0131 bu. Oturdum. Ne zaman ard\u0131ndan bir r\u00fczg\u00e2r esse sanki o k\u0131vr\u0131m\u0131n i\u00e7inde – varsa kiri temizleyerek – t\u00e2 kal\u00e7as\u0131na kadar inecek ve s\u0131rt\u0131ndaki g\u00f6mle\u011fi havaland\u0131racak gibi. Elimdeki, bunun bir ismi olmal\u0131, tuvalet k\u00e2\u011f\u0131d\u0131n\u0131 oval ve diri tutmaya yarayan ve bir avucu tam doldurmak \u00fczere tasarlanm\u0131\u015f kartonu bir kenara f\u0131rlatt\u0131m. \u0130\u015fimi g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm. Kalk\u0131p y\u00fcr\u00fcmekte olan ona yettim. Y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakmadan \u00f6nce ayaklar\u0131na uzunca bak\u0131p ad\u0131mlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 denkle\u015ftirdim, kollar\u0131na bak\u0131p sa\u011flamas\u0131n\u0131 yapt\u0131m. Hi\u00e7 y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakmamakta kararl\u0131yd\u0131m. Orada \u00e7ok \u00f6nceleri kaybetti\u011fim ve sonra uzunca bir s\u00fcre arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m ve sonra yine uzunca bir s\u00fcre arad\u0131\u011f\u0131m o \u015feyin kendine d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmek iste\u011fimi birden bulacak olmam\u0131n, korkmak dememeli buna, t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 unutmu\u015f olmam\u0131n utanc\u0131yla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015facakm\u0131\u015f\u0131m gibi. O da konu\u015fmuyordu. Buna hi\u00e7 \u015fa\u015fma. \u00d6n\u00fcm\u00fczde bir bask\u00fcl ve ya\u015fl\u0131, oturan ve avanak g\u00f6zlerle bir adam belirdi. Ben g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, onu bilmem. Hi\u00e7 fark\u0131na varmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m ama ayaklar\u0131m\u0131z zaten ba\u011fl\u0131 oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in h\u0131zla sa\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda duran avanak g\u00f6zlerden sola do\u011fru uzakla\u015ft\u0131k ve sonra az evvel y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz hizadan d\u00fcmd\u00fcz hi\u00e7 \u015fa\u015fmam\u0131\u015f\u0131z gibi devam ettik. (Bir \u00e7izgi \u00e7ekilse ve bizim bu \u00e7izgiden hi\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131kmamam\u0131z i\u00e7in g\u00f6revli bir \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc ki\u015fi ufac\u0131k bir dalg\u0131nl\u0131kla havada u\u00e7u\u015fan mart\u0131lara bakakalsa,’mart\u0131lar \u00e7ok az tutabilir dikkati \u00fczerinde, s\u0131k\u0131lman\u0131n hayvan\u0131d\u0131r onlar.’ bu bilgiyi g\u00f6z \u00f6n\u00fcnde bulundurursak, hemen g\u00f6revinin ba\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6nse bizim \u00e7izgiden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p girdi\u011fimizi asla fark etmemi\u015f olurdu.) Neden diye sormad\u0131m. Dedim ya ne ben ne de g\u00f6revli ki\u015fi fark\u0131ndayd\u0131k yar\u0131m dairelik hareketin ama birden – sinir bozucu bir \u015fey bu- sessizli\u011fi bozdu. “BASK\u00dcLE BASMAKTAN KORKUYORUM.” Bana ne bundan, bana ne? Cevap vermedim. yan\u0131mda birinin y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fcn fark\u0131ndayd\u0131m fakat onun da olmas\u0131 can\u0131m\u0131 s\u0131kt\u0131. Cevap verirsem belki y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakmak zorunda kalaca\u011f\u0131m, belki(kesin’e \u00e7ok yak\u0131n bir belki bu) uzun bir konu\u015fma ba\u015flayacak. A\u011fac\u0131n \u00fczerindeyiz. \u0130ki arkada\u015f\u0131m ve ben. Bulundu\u011fumuz kasaban\u0131n tam ortas\u0131ndaki park\u0131, buna eminim ad\u0131mlar\u0131mla sayd\u0131m, tam ortas\u0131ndaki a\u011fac\u0131n en \u00fczerindeyiz. \u0130ri yar\u0131 bir \u00e7am a\u011fac\u0131 bu. A\u011fac\u0131n alt\u0131ndan, park\u0131n \u00e7evresinden, etraftaki evlerin \u00e7at\u0131s\u0131ndan a\u011fac\u0131n tepesindeki bizler’i g\u00f6rmeleri im-kan-s\u0131z.\u00a0 Oysa biz her yeri, park\u0131, \u00e7ar\u015f\u0131y\u0131, evlerin \u00e7at\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131, hatta pencere i\u00e7lerini bile g\u00f6rebiliyorduk. Ben \u015fimdi desem ki k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcme dair bu bilgi y\u00fcz\u00fcnden olacak ben de ne zaman bir lokanta yahut d\u0131\u015far\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n kalabal\u0131k oldu\u011funu bildi\u011fim bir mek\u00e2nda tuvalate girsem hi\u00e7 o i\u015fi yapam\u0131yorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc sanki o duvarlar biden kalk\u0131verecekmi\u015f de d\u0131\u015fardakiler, bir \u00e7ift iri g\u00f6z ve t\u00fcmden bir kahkaha beni g\u00f6r\u00fcverecekmi\u015f gibi oluyor. Komik olur de\u011fil mi? Nereye gidece\u011fiz? Aram\u0131zda buna dair bir anla\u015fma yok. Bask\u00fcle basmaktan korkuyormu\u015f. Ne komik! Bunun yerine, madem bu sessizli\u011fi bozacakt\u0131n neden ‘\u015furaya gidiyoruz, gidece\u011fiz, gitmeliyiz, gidiyoruz biliyorsun de\u011fil mi?’ gibisinden i\u00e7 rahatlat\u0131c\u0131 bir \u015feyler s\u00f6ylemedin sanki? D\u0131\u015far\u0131 do\u011fru y\u00fcr\u00fcyorduk. Uzun zaman oldu. Bir k\u00f6pek g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. O da g\u00f6rd\u00fc m\u00fc bilmiyorum. Uyuz it, di\u015fleriyle nas\u0131l da ka\u015f\u0131yor k\u0131ll\u0131 derisini. Ben de ka\u015f\u0131nmaya ba\u015flad\u0131m. Deli gibi ka\u015f\u0131n\u0131yordum. Neden durduk gidelim! diye ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m. Tamamen d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden olmu\u015ftu, yemin ederim. Kahretsin. Duymam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Bald\u0131rlar\u0131m\u0131za ba\u011fl\u0131 yap\u0131\u015fkan kay\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131, k\u00f6pe\u011fe do\u011fru kayd\u0131. Kay\u0131\u015f benim sa\u011f bald\u0131r\u0131mdan da s\u00fcm\u00fc\u011f\u00fcms\u00fc bir h\u0131zla s\u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc. Y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6rece\u011fim korkusuyla arkam\u0131 d\u00f6nd\u00fcm. “E\u011e\u0130L\u0130YORUM.” Biraz ge\u00e7ti. “S\u00d6YLED\u0130KLER\u0130M\u0130 DUYUYOR MUSUN? B\u0130RAZ ONU D\u0130NLEYECE\u011e\u0130M. \u015e\u0130MD\u0130 OTLARA YATIYORUM. PARMA\u011eIMI UZATIP B\u0130TLER\u0130N BANA DO\u011eRU GELMES\u0130N\u0130 \u0130\u015eARET ETT\u0130M.” Uyuz pi\u00e7. H\u0131zla kula\u011f\u0131mda habersiz, aniden bir v\u0131z\u0131lt\u0131 duymu\u015fum gibi \u015faplak att\u0131m. Uff tatl\u0131 tatl\u0131 ka\u015f\u0131yorum. G\u00fcl\u00fc\u015fme duydum. “EVET, \u015e\u0130MD\u0130 SONUNDA KEM\u0130RMEY\u0130 BIRAKTI KONU\u015eACAK.” T\u00fcm bunlar\u0131 sanki kula\u011f\u0131m\u0131n dibinde s\u00f6yl\u00fcyordu. Uzun s\u00fcrece\u011fi anla\u015f\u0131lan bir sessizlik. Ne merak edece\u011fim h\u00fb! \u015eeytan\u00e7a\u011f\u0131ran bir \u0131sl\u0131k tutturdum. Nas\u0131l da tatl\u0131 ka\u015f\u0131n\u0131yor. \u0130lkin bulutlar\u0131 ard\u0131ndan denizle g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcn aras\u0131na bir fermuar gibi \u00e7ekilmi\u015f \u015fehri inceledim. Bu bana baya\u011f\u0131 zaman kazand\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Hatta belki arada uyumu\u015ftum. Y\u00fcr\u00fcmek, y\u00fcr\u00fcmek istiyorum. Nereden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 \u015fu k\u00f6pek! Elimi kula\u011f\u0131mdan \u00e7ektim. “\u00dcRKME B\u0130TLER\u0130 GER\u0130 BIRAKIYORUM.” Yine kula\u011f\u0131m\u0131n dibindeydi. Yan\u0131ma geldi. G\u00f6zlerimi s\u0131ms\u0131k\u0131 kapay\u0131p g\u00fcne\u015fe bakt\u0131m. K\u0131pk\u0131z\u0131l. Kay\u0131\u015flar\u0131 tekrar bald\u0131rlar\u0131m\u0131za ayn\u0131 anda ge\u00e7irdik. \u0130\u015fte y\u00fcr\u00fcyorduk. Ne vakit kayb\u0131 ama. S\u0131rt\u0131mda bir esinti duydum. Onun g\u00f6mle\u011finin kalk\u0131p indi\u011finden ku\u015fkum yok.

Mert Can AKSOY<\/strong><\/a>
Nisan, 2020<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[69],"class_list":["post-1208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-mert-can-aksoy","comments-off"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1208"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1208\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1211,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1208\/revisions\/1211"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}