{"id":3523,"date":"2026-09-07T13:08:13","date_gmt":"2026-09-07T10:08:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/?p=3523"},"modified":"2026-09-07T13:09:51","modified_gmt":"2026-09-07T10:09:51","slug":"silaya-cagirdim-zihnimi-bu-sabah-gurbetten-uluer-aydogdu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/?p=3523","title":{"rendered":"SILAYA \u00c7A\u011eIRDIM Z\u0130HN\u0130M\u0130 BU SABAH GURBETTEN (Uluer Aydo\u011fdu)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\n

On bir Temmuz iki bin yirmi alt\u0131
g\u00fcnlerden Ha\u015f-r
Cumartesi diyor \u00e7o\u011funluk
\u00fccrada, kuytuda
ters d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f zirve, dipte
aha cem, aha miting, aha \u00f6bekle\u015fme
ne\u015friyata te\u015fne \u00e7oktan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Samanyolu G\u00f6kadas\u0131 hakk\u0131nda bir ada
G\u00fcne\u015f Sistemi\u2019nin
kaybolmas\u0131n dey\u00fc dey\u00fc
bir y\u00f6r\u00fcngeye oturtup \u015fimdi burada k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 t\u00fcmsektir d\u00fcnya
ters d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f o \u00e7ukurda
ku\u015f ku\u015fay\u0131z ya hu
hi\u00e7 hi\u00e7e
zen zene.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u0131laya \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m zihnimi bu sabah gurbetten
bir ku\u015fu kar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131p
kucaklad\u0131m onu bal\u0131klamas\u0131na
ve ok\u015fad\u0131m sa\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 uzun uzun
kula\u011f\u0131na f\u0131s\u0131ldad\u0131m bahar bahar bahararak
gezinmeyi b\u0131rak art\u0131k ge\u00e7mi\u015fte, gelecekte
i\u015fin yok, yuvan buras\u0131
ho\u015f geldin
\u015fiirler getirdin, hayde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Titredi ta kuarklar\u0131na, leptonlar\u0131na kadar
\u00fcrperdi atomlar
bir daha uzakla\u015fmak yok diye alt\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7izdim g\u00fcne\u015f \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131yla
h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc gard\u0131r r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n u\u011fultusuyla yundum \u00fcst\u00fcn\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u015fiirleyip
verili olan ne varsa soru ya\u011fmuruna tuttum \u0131slad\u0131m kavis sa\u011fna\u011f\u0131 ile
takozu
d\u00fcz, do\u011frusal, \u00e7izgisel yolu \u00e7ektim ayaklar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan
satha yay\u0131l\u0131yoruz ahbap dedim mevziden \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p yanyanal\u0131\u011fa
ey mana
ey toz olu\u015f
kalbim a\u015fka amade
seni gidi \u00e7atallanma e\u015fi\u011fi, seni gidi
budaklan\u0131p budaklan\u0131p.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dczerimden att\u0131m t\u00fcm fazlal\u0131klar\u0131 d\u00fcnya deli\u011finden ge\u00e7mek i\u00e7in, hobaaa
ye\u011fniliktir g\u00fcc\u00fcm, tutunamamak
soydum kabu\u011fumu yava\u015f yava\u015f ve h\u0131zl\u0131 h\u0131zl\u0131 a\u015fk, me\u015fk marifetiyle
kalbimin kalbine b\u00fck\u00fcld\u00fcm
bir \u015fey, bir nesne, bir beden olmayan \u00e7ocuklu\u011fuma g\u00f6z k\u0131rp\u0131p terkime ald\u0131m g\u00fcl\u00fcmseyi\u015fini
sen benim harika var olu\u015fumsun
durmayarak durmakt\u0131r benim i\u015fim
\u015fimdi, burada kalmayarak \u015fimdi, burada kalmak davrand\u0131m alabildi\u011fine yaban
verdim ald\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131
neysem, ne kadarsam, ne kald\u0131ysam
yetimlere s\u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcverdim bir yudum su gibi
miskinlere, \u00e7aresizlere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ve i\u00e7tik birbirimizi oburca
aha yeni bir dil
ya\u015far\u0131p yuttu beni
sen ve cesur yutkunu\u015flarla
h\u0131m\u0131\u015f h\u0131m\u0131\u015f
kocaman minicik bir lokmad\u0131r bu
g\u00f6sterdi bana
\u015fimdi, \u015fu an yeni bir durumsa
anlam, de\u011fer ve kurallar\u0131 da yeni olmal\u0131
de\u011filse kurus\u0131k\u0131
ate\u015fsiz kalp olur mu hi\u00e7
barut mu
aha i\u015fte kalp \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131\u015flar\u0131n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u0131m h\u0131m dey\u00fc dey\u00fc
bir \u015felale d\u00f6k\u00fcl\u00fcyordu dilimden
benli\u011fimi att\u0131m neli\u011fime davran\u0131p
\u015fimdi, burada \u0137\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 yan\u0131 oldum d\u00fcnyan\u0131n
o u\u00e7 bu u\u00e7tur b\u00fcy\u00fc makam\u0131nday\u0131m
o dem bu demdir sancak sancak
dalgalan\u0131yorum olu\u015fun varl\u0131\u011f\u0131nda
\u015farts\u0131z yok mu \u015farts\u0131z
o bi\u00e7imsiz ve zamans\u0131zdan
\u015fartl\u0131 tahliyeyim bi\u00e7imli, zamanl\u0131
\u00f6z’\u00fc g\u00fcrle\u015ftirmektir benim i\u015fim.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Evcil d\u00fc\u015fmektense g\u00f6zden kaybolup
kulaklar\u0131n i\u015fitemeyece\u011fi
bir diyara \u00e7ekilen
Neanderthal\u2019lerden ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m sancak
\u015fimdi, burada olu\u015fum
\u015fiirler olsun
pek mahir, pek cesurdur atalar\u0131m
yabanili\u011fin kokusu var \u00fczerimde
onlardan emanet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yirmi iki Aral\u0131k\u2019ta kokusunu al\u0131r\u0131m bahar\u0131n
yirmi iki Haziran\u2019da g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne
ters d\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f yery\u00fcz\u00fcne bakt\u0131n m\u0131 hi\u00e7
r\u00fczg\u00e2r bir ba\u015fka esmeye ba\u015flar
kokular de\u011fi\u015fir bir\u2019denbir\u2019e
ufuk de\u011fi\u015fir
k\u0131\u015f geldi derim Paganlar gibi
b\u00fck\u00fcl\u00fcp b\u00fck\u00fcl\u00fcp do\u011frulur
do\u011frulup do\u011frulup b\u00fck\u00fcl\u00fcr
k\u00e2h k\u0131\u015f uykusuna yatmaya haz\u0131rlan\u0131r
k\u00e2h iyice dinlenmi\u015fimdir
hen\u00fcz yaz\u0131lmam\u0131\u015f o \u015fiir s\u00f6kmek \u00fczeridir aha
biriktirdi\u011fimi harcamaya koyulurum uyan\u0131p, uyan\u0131p.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kafandakini de\u011fil kalbindekini ya\u015fa
\u015fimdi, burada olu\u015fa seril bir kilim gibi
kirlen, buru\u015f buru\u015f ol
derin vadiler belirsin aln\u0131nda
can\u0131n yans\u0131n
de\u011filse bir anlam\u0131n ve hayat\u0131n olmaz
dirimin ve \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn \u00f6tesidir hakikat
hakk\u0131n\u0131 al\u0131p vermek demektir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1964 y\u0131l\u0131nda d\u00fcnya denilen rahime at\u0131ld\u0131m
ah, rahimden rahimedir t\u00fcm yolculuklar.
d\u00fcnya g\u00fcne\u015fin etraf\u0131nda altm\u0131\u015f ikinci turunda
G\u00fcne\u015f mi, Samanyolu G\u00f6kadas\u0131\u2019n\u0131n d\u0131\u015f sarmallar\u0131nda otlayan ala bir geyik.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seviyorum b\u00f6yle lak\u0131rd\u0131lar\u0131
demleyip demleyip ya\u015faran\u0131 fokurdayan y\u00fcre\u011fimde
aheste beste i\u00e7meyi
var olduk\u00e7a kendini var eden
var ettik\u00e7e var olan mahsul\u00fcm
ayn\u0131 zamanda tohum olan
hi\u00e7bir \u015fey bende kalmayacak
ben hi\u00e7bir \u015feyde kalmayaca\u011f\u0131m
varolu\u015fun ucuna s\u00fcr\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f varolu\u015f olmaktan el edip
\u015fiir k\u0131rp\u0131yorum hepi topu
yabanc\u0131y\u0131m verili olan her \u015feye
ve bu beni esirgiyor
anlam, de\u011fer ve kurallara tak\u0131l\u0131p kalmaktan
ba\u011f\u0131\u015flanm\u0131\u015f oluyorum b\u00f6ylece \u00e7oktan.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Uluer AYDO\u011eDU<\/em><\/strong>
Temmuz 2026<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[181],"class_list":["post-3523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-uluer-aydogdu","comments-off"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3523"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3524,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3523\/revisions\/3524"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}