{"id":534,"date":"2018-12-16T11:11:17","date_gmt":"2018-12-16T09:11:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/?p=534"},"modified":"2022-04-19T23:10:48","modified_gmt":"2022-04-19T20:10:48","slug":"soylesi-guzel-aldirmazlik-ile-kotuye-maruziyet-yonca-enderer-zafer-yalcinpinar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/upas.evvel.org\/?p=534","title":{"rendered":"S\u00f6yle\u015fi: “Karanl\u0131k Ne\u015fe, G\u00fczel Ald\u0131rmazl\u0131k ve K\u00f6t\u00fcye Maruziyet, \u00d6zel Bozukluk” (Yonca Enderer – Zafer Yal\u00e7\u0131np\u0131nar)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Yonca Enderer<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Zafer Yal\u00e7\u0131np\u0131nar:<\/strong> \u0130lk \u015fiir kitab\u0131n Mai<\/a>‘de, kurgulad\u0131\u011f\u0131n kadrajlara dolu dolu ve b\u00fct\u00fcnsel olarak n\u00fcfuz eden bir \u00f6zellik bulundu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum: “Ara duygulan\u0131mlar” olarak ifade edebilece\u011fimiz karma\u015f\u0131k izlekler ile de\u011fi\u015fken ya\u015fant\u0131 par\u00e7alar\u0131n\u0131 son derece dengeli, kontroll\u00fc ve sat\u0131h olarak i\u015fleyebilme becerisi\u2026 Bunda lirizm a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan bulu\u015flu, parlak bir taraf var. Mai\u2019nin lirik t\u0131n\u0131s\u0131 nas\u0131l olu\u015ftu? \u015eiirlerini nas\u0131l i\u015fliyorsun, Mai\u2019yi nas\u0131l bir teknikle billurla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131n?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yonca Enderer:<\/strong> Mai, yani Arap\u00e7a k\u00f6kenli eski T\u00fcrk\u00e7ede Mavi; \u2018karanl\u0131k ne\u015fe\u2019 olarak tasvir edebilece\u011fim \u0130stanbul kalabal\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bir bavulun arkas\u0131ndan y\u00fcr\u00fcyen ad\u0131mlar\u0131n kendini s\u00fcr\u00fckleyi\u015fidir. \u00d6yle ki, \u2018bir im\u2019 olmak Mai\u2019nin iskeletinin hem imgesel hem de fiziksel bir par\u00e7as\u0131. Sembollerle, d\u00fc\u015flerle ve ger\u00e7eklerle \u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fc bu kitap, kayg\u0131s\u0131z ikilemlerle say\u0131klanarak yan pencereden sarkmak, duvardaki aynaya uzun uzun bakmak ya da yoku\u015f a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 ko\u015fmak kadar kendili\u011finden ve sahicidir. Mai, \u2018\u2019Tamam, dur\u2019\u2019 diyene de\u011fin i\u00e7ini doldururken \u2018ben\u2019in t\u00fcm ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131, psikolojideki \u2018la belle indifference\u2019 yani \u2018g\u00fczel ald\u0131rmazl\u0131k\u2019 kavram\u0131yla v\u00fccut bularak her \u015fiirde sadece \u2018ben\u2019in de\u011fil t\u00fcm \u2018ben\u2019lerimizin hik\u00e2yelerini anlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Bunu yaparken de dili bir \u00e7ocuk gibi yontarak, harfleri duvarlara \u00e7arparak yeni bir yol a\u00e7ma tela\u015f\u0131 i\u00e7indedir. Bu y\u00fczden karanl\u0131k ne\u015fesiyle hem biraz \u00f6forik hem de h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fcd\u00fcr. \u0130\u00e7 konu\u015fmalar\u0131 ve d\u0131\u015favurumlar\u0131yla bir \u015fiir kadar mavidir. Ayn\u0131 gaye ile fark etti\u011fim \u2018\u2019K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019\u2019n\u00fcn derinli\u011finde de \u00e7e\u015fitli say\u0131klamalar ile keskin u\u00e7lu ge\u00e7i\u015fler hissetmekteyim. Peki \u2018\u2019K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019\u2019 kendini nas\u0131l oymu\u015ftur da bu denli safla\u015fm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r?
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Zafer Yal\u00e7\u0131np\u0131nar: <\/strong>Asl\u0131na bakarsan K\u00f6t\u00fc<\/a>, di\u011fer \u015fiir kitaplar\u0131ma nazaran teknik a\u00e7\u0131dan \u00e7ok\u00e7a \u00fczerine titremedi\u011fim, serbest \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131\u015f\u0131ml\u0131 ya da nas\u0131l desem, kolajvari bir kitap oldu. Tabi\u00ee ki bu durum \u2018K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019deki \u015fiirleri do\u011furan ya\u015fant\u0131lar ve anlamlar\u0131 i\u00e7in ge\u00e7erli de\u011fil. Tarihinsanc\u0131s\u0131<\/a>, yani K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019den \u00f6nceki \u015fiir kitab\u0131m, ad\u0131ndan da anla\u015f\u0131labilece\u011fi \u00fczere bir\u00e7ok tarihsel g\u00f6nderme ve hesapla\u015fma i\u00e7eriyor. Bu tarihsel \u00e7er\u00e7eve nedeniyle de baz\u0131 \u015fiirlerime yaz\u0131ld\u0131klar\u0131 d\u00f6nemde Tarihinsanc\u0131s\u0131\u2019nda yer vermedim. \u0130\u015fte o d\u00f6nemde d\u0131\u015far\u0131da kalan -ki\u015fisel diyebilece\u011fim- \u015fiirler ve Tarihinsanc\u0131s\u0131\u2019n\u0131n sonras\u0131nda kaleme ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015fiirler \u2018K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019y\u00fc olu\u015fturuyor. K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019n\u00fcn safl\u0131\u011f\u0131 ve bahsetti\u011fin de\u011fi\u015fkenlik biraz da bu tip bir y\u0131\u011f\u0131lma nedeniyle olu\u015ftu. Yani bir \u015feyleri oymad\u0131m, diyebiliriz. Hatta baz\u0131 oyuklar\u0131, dilsel \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131, p\u00fcr\u00fczleri, e\u011fimleri bilerek d\u00fczeltmedim K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019de\u2026 \u00dcslup bozukluklar\u0131ndan \u00e7ivili, imk\u00e2ns\u0131z bir b\u00fct\u00fcn olu\u015fturmak istedim. Yani bu sefer, metaforik olarak, \u00f6zel boyalar kullanmad\u0131m ah\u015fapta\u2026 Vernik bile yok K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019n\u00fcn ah\u015fab\u0131nda\u2026 Ya da nas\u0131l desem, hurdac\u0131dan toplanm\u0131\u015f farkl\u0131 tipteki metal par\u00e7alar\u0131yla, d\u00f6k\u00fcnt\u00fcyle heykel yapmak gibi\u2026 Yontmad\u0131m K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019y\u00fc asl\u0131nda\u2026 Ama \u00f6zel bir \u00fcslup bozuklu\u011fu var, bir deneysel, ge\u00e7i\u015fsiz, tuhaf, keskin, kolajvari taraf var tabi\u00ee\u2026 Demin ifade etti\u011fin ve Mai\u2019de v\u00fccut bulan \u201cg\u00fczel ald\u0131rmazl\u0131k\u201d s\u00f6ylemini \u00e7ok \u00f6nemsiyorum. Senin \u015fiir dilindeki lirik varolu\u015fu tutarl\u0131 bi\u00e7imde a\u00e7\u0131klayan bir kavram veya tav\u0131r bu\u2026 \u201cG\u00fczel ald\u0131rmazl\u0131k\u201d durumuna \u015fiirlerinden bir \u00f6rnek verebilir misin, biraz a\u00e7ar m\u0131s\u0131n bu tavr\u0131? Y\u0131ld\u0131zada, misal\u2026
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Yonca Enderer:<\/strong> Benim de hem \u2018K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019de ve genel olarak \u015fiirde ehemmiyet verdi\u011fim bu ola\u011fanl\u0131k ya da kendili\u011finden diyebilece\u011fimiz ak\u0131\u015f asl\u0131nda. Bir t\u00fcr romantik serseri tavr\u0131. Bu noktada \u2018G\u00fczel ald\u0131rmazl\u0131k\u2019 yani \u2018la belle indifference\u2019 her ne kadar g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcze gelene kadar yaln\u0131zca \u00e7ok narsist, histerik ya da pasif agresif olarak de\u011ferlendirilse de g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc gibi bir tav\u0131r de\u011fildir. Babam bana hep \u015f\u00f6yle derdi; \u2018\u2019Tav\u0131r alma, tavr\u0131n olsun.\u2019\u2019 Bu bir t\u00fcr duru\u015ftur. Parmak u\u00e7lar\u0131ndan sa\u00e7 teline, do\u011fumdan \u00f6l\u00fcme de\u011fin v\u00fccut bulmu\u015f bir bipolar, bir entropi. S\u00f6z konusu duruma bir \u00f6rnek olarak \u2018Bakirenin M\u00fcrekkebi\u2019 ya da \u2018Daydila\u2019 s\u00f6ylenebilir. Lakin \u2018Y\u0131ld\u0131zada\u2019 i\u00e7in konu\u015fmak gerekirse bir dizi kay\u0131ts\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n i\u00e7inde yine kayg\u0131lardan beslenen huzursuz bir ruh var. Bir adan\u0131n k\u0131y\u0131s\u0131nda, y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131n alt\u0131nda h\u00e2l\u00e2 g\u00f6rebildi\u011fi g\u00f6\u011fe, ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 kekik kokan solu\u011fa, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131na \u015f\u00fckrederek \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcn ortas\u0131nda duran bir ses, bir nefes. Cyrano de Bergerac gibi \u2018her \u015fey olmak\u2019 isterken \u2018hi\u00e7bir \u015fey\u2019 olman\u0131n korkun\u00e7 g\u00fczelli\u011fi. T\u00fcm \u00e7ocuksulu\u011fuyla h\u00e2l\u00e2 merakl\u0131, masals\u0131, kad\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla c\u00fcretk\u00e2r ve vah\u015fi, insanl\u0131\u011f\u0131yla da aray\u0131\u015fta ve bir yunan ezgisiyle eli kadehine kalkm\u0131\u015f havada bekleyen zamans\u0131z bir hik\u00e2yedir \u2018Y\u0131ld\u0131zada\u2019. Do\u011fal olarak ink\u00e2r edilemeyecek bi\u00e7imde \u2018ben\u2019lerimizden, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bu hayat\u0131n her zerresinden etkileniyoruz. Sonu\u00e7ta metaforik olarak anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015feyler aras\u0131nda \u2018Y\u0131ld\u0131zada\u2019n\u0131n kendisi (evrilmemi\u015f ger\u00e7ek ismi Y\u0131ld\u0131zkoy) veya Deli Kayalar ger\u00e7ekte de var olan, anlatt\u0131\u011f\u0131m kadar\u0131yla mitolojik bir hik\u00e2yesi olan somut yerler\u2026 Bizler bunlardan etkilenirken \u2018K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019 her ne kadar \u2018Tarihinsanc\u0131s\u0131\u2019 isimli kitab\u0131n\u0131zda yer vermedi\u011finiz \u015fiirler b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fc olsa da dedi\u011finiz gibi ki\u015fisel ancak kolajvari g\u00f6r\u00fcnmesine ra\u011fmen tamamen bir b\u00fct\u00fcn\u2026 Yani her \u015fiir \u2018K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019 i\u00e7in \u00f6zellikle se\u00e7ilip bir araya gelmi\u015f \u00f6zel bir yaz\u0131n. Acaba bu b\u00fct\u00fcn\u00fc par\u00e7alara ay\u0131rmadan duygusal anlamda benim tan\u0131mlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u2018g\u00fczel ald\u0131rmazl\u0131k\u2019 gibi bir \u015fey s\u00f6yleyebilseydik ne diyebilirdik? Yani belki sadece \u2018k\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019 de\u011fil de neden \u2018k\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019? Ya da yaln\u0131zca \u2018k\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019 ise Zafer Yal\u00e7\u0131np\u0131nar \u2018K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019y\u00fc ve beraberinde k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc tan\u0131mlayabilseydi hayat\u0131n\u0131n o zamanki dilimi i\u00e7in ne s\u00f6yleyebilirdi?
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Zafer Yal\u00e7\u0131np\u0131nar:<\/strong> \u015eu \u00f6nemli ayr\u0131m\u0131 hemen ifade etmeliyim; bir insan\u0131n planl\u0131, s\u00fcrekli ve y\u00f6ntemli bir \u015fekilde k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011fe maruz kalarak k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn oyunlar\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131mas\u0131 ba\u015fka bir \u015fey, k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc di\u011fer insanlara bula\u015ft\u0131rmas\u0131, yani k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yayg\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131rarak k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn hamili\u011fini yapmas\u0131 ba\u015fka bir \u015fey\u2026 Benim kitab\u0131m\u0131n ismi olan \u201cK\u00f6t\u00fc\u201d, di\u011fer bir\u00e7ok yan anlam\u0131 bir kenara b\u0131rak\u0131rsak, k\u00f6t\u00fcc\u00fcll\u00fc\u011fe ve k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck dayan\u0131\u015fmalar\u0131na maruz kalmay\u0131, k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc tan\u0131may\u0131 anlat\u0131yor. Yani hi\u00e7bir zaman \u201cYa\u015fas\u0131n k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck!\u201d gibi ifadeyi benimsemedi\u011fimi s\u00f6ylemeliyim. Ece Ayhan\u2019\u0131n ya\u015fam\u0131 i\u00e7in de hakikat b\u00f6yledir. Kimse, k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fc Ece Ayhan\u2019dan daha iyi tan\u0131yamaz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc en \u00e7ok Ece Ayhan maruz kalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011fe! Ama tabi\u00ee, k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn ve yeni sinsiyetin oyunlar\u0131na maruz kala kala o oyunlar\u0131 \u00f6\u011freniyorsun zamanla\u2026 Benim ad\u0131m, ailem ve eserlerim \u00fczerinde de son on be\u015f y\u0131ld\u0131r itibars\u0131zla\u015ft\u0131rma y\u00f6ntemi uygulan\u0131yor s\u00fcrekli\u2026 O oyunlar\u0131 ve sinsi s\u00f6ylemleri yayg\u0131nla\u015ft\u0131ranlar\u0131n kimler oldu\u011funu da tek tek, \u00e7ok iyi biliyorum. Bir k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck \u00e7etesi ve bu \u00e7eteye mentor olarak atanm\u0131\u015f \u00f6rdek suratl\u0131 bir edebiyat k\u00e2hyas\u0131 bu oyunlar\u0131 y\u00f6netiyordu falan\u2026 Eh, ne yapal\u0131m, insan biraz da m\u00fccadele etti\u011fi d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131r, ona benzer yahu! Yani, benim de o k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck \u00e7etesi ve \u00f6d\u00fcllendirdi\u011fi insanc\u0131klar gibi \u2018k\u00f6t\u00fc \u015fiirler\u2019 yazma hakk\u0131m vard\u0131r elbet! Ama benim kitab\u0131m\u0131n mihenk noktas\u0131 bu a\u00e7\u0131 \u00fczerinde de\u011fil\u2026 As\u0131l a\u00e7\u0131 \u015fudur: Hayat\u0131m\u0131n o zamanki zorlu\u011funu \u201cayak ba\u011flar\u0131ndan kurtulmak\u201d olarak tan\u0131mlayabilirim. Dadac\u0131 bir yakla\u015f\u0131m belki de\u2026 \u015eiir dilinde anlam, co\u015fkusuz ve dengeli bir duru\u015ftur, yani bir \u201cayak ba\u011f\u0131\u201dd\u0131r. Ozan arketipinin benimsenmesi, sabah ak\u015fam \u00f6d\u00fcllendirilmesi de \u00f6yle\u2026 \u0130\u015f ya\u015fam\u0131, sahte arkada\u015fl\u0131klar, yalanc\u0131 dostlar, k\u00f6pek bal\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibi kan pe\u015finde ko\u015fanlar, evlilik sekt\u00f6r\u00fc ve giri\u015fimci \u015firketler de \u00f6yle\u2026 K\u00f6t\u00fc\u2019y\u00fc t\u00fcm bu ayak ba\u011flar\u0131ndan kurtuldu\u011fum bir d\u00f6nemde yazd\u0131m. Bu nedenle \u015fiirlerde \u2018\u00f6zel bir \u00fcslup bozuklu\u011fu\u2019 var. Ve evet \u00e7ok zordu, \u00e7ok k\u00f6t\u00fcyd\u00fc o g\u00fcnler\u2026 Dadac\u0131 bir deney… Ama \u015fu s\u00f6z de \u00e7ok \u00f6nemlidir: Ya\u011fmur ne kadar yo\u011fun ya\u011farsa, sonras\u0131 o kadar g\u00fczel olur! Peki senin gelece\u011fe y\u00f6nelik d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerin nas\u0131l? Gelecekte \u015fiirin neye evrilecek? Mai yay\u0131mland\u0131. Sonras\u0131 nas\u0131l olacak? Bir plan\u0131n var m\u0131?
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Yonca Enderer:<\/strong> A\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7as\u0131 ‘Mai’ kadar so\u011fuk bir h\u00fczn\u00fcn karn\u0131nda, tam ortas\u0131nda, s\u0131cac\u0131k masmavi bir ku\u015f olaca\u011f\u0131m. Ben ile imlerim hem ya\u015famaya bu kadar a\u00e7 hem de \u00f6l\u00fcme bu denli \u00e2\u015f\u0131kken iki u\u00e7 aras\u0131nda, benim ortas\u0131na koyabilece\u011fim tek \u015fey sevgi. Sevmek ortada tutar, yumu\u015fat\u0131r ve g\u00fczel kokar. Kamu spotu yapmayaca\u011f\u0131m, ama \u00f6zellikle uzayl\u0131 melekler oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm kediler, hi\u00e7 \u015f\u00fcphesiz ana kayna\u011f\u0131m ve tabi\u00ee t\u00fcm hayvanlar, insanlar\u0131 saymazsak. Yani asl\u0131nda bu gezegen i\u00e7in umut olmasa da t\u00fcm g\u00fczellikler bir ba\u015fka gezegende olacak ya da paralel evrende zaten oluyor, olmal\u0131. \u0130nanmak istedi\u011fim ve arzu etti\u011fim bu. Toplumsal s\u00fcrg\u00fcnlerimi sabah sekiz ak\u015fam alt\u0131 aras\u0131nda bir ka\u015f\u0131k pekmez gibi yediriyorlar zaten. Gerisi, gerekse \u015fiir; Mai do\u011fdu, Nept\u00fcn gibi sistemin bir ucundan ilk defa g\u00f6r\u00fcld\u00fc ve g\u00f6r\u00fclmeye devam ediyor. Tabi\u00ee ke\u015fif bitmedi. Yolda bir ba\u015fka renk, bir ba\u015fka \u00e7ocuk, bir kad\u0131n hatta bir adam var. Uzay zamandan ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zken -u\u011fultularla, \u015faman davullar\u0131 avu\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131 par\u00e7alam\u0131\u015f, y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fczde boyalar, \u0131slak \u00e7imenlerde, mutlu k\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir k\u0131\u015f ve yaz g\u00fcn\u00fc so\u011fuk k\u00fcvette intiharlar varken- ‘evet, \u015fimdi!’ diyebiliyorum. Az kald\u0131 biliyorum\u2026
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Zafer Yal\u00e7\u0131np\u0131nar:<\/strong> \u0130\u00e7tenlikli cevaplar\u0131n i\u00e7in te\u015fekk\u00fcr ederim. Yeni \u015fiirlerini merakla bekliyorum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aral\u0131k 2018<\/strong>
upas.evvel.org<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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